You have to laugh......

LoL to Shar and Pearl for providing these!

-x-

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A Husband was in big trouble when he forgot his Wife's birthday.

His Wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds!".

The next morning the Wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the Husband have been set for Saturday.

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Are you mad?

During a visit to a Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director
what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should
be institutionalised.

"Well" said the Director, "We fill up a bath, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the bathtub."

"I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director,
"A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room
with or without a view?"